Flushed Away

A children's movie, entitled Flushed Away, was recently released to DVD. Yesterday, I walked into my bathroom to find the theme sticker of said movie posted above the toilet. Can you do anything but double over?

That in itself should be enough to end this entry, but alas, there is more. After the tee-hee during my pee-pee, I was caught so off guard by my next thought, I nearly peppered the floor with
urine. This sprinkling thought sprang to life, "She is gone; out of my life. Amen." To the general, or even specific audience, that has no correlation for you. It just sounds dumb. Please, don't flush this story but allow me to explain the progression of thoughts. It starts a long, long time ago (2 weeks ago)... [cue wavy picture and retro dream music]...

...

...

Just over two weeks ago, one of my fellow[ess] interns, (what's the female equivalent of fellow in that tense? Lady?) -- one of my lady interns, announced that a friend of hers would be crashing our party for a couple of weeks. Little did I know at that time how much crashing, or should I say crushing, I would be doing in the coming weeks. As time was in the process of stopping, the girl walked in the room. The repairs we made to the floor didn't cost much after my jaw dropped through it. It is important for you to know I played it off well, cranked my jaw back into place and walked out the room like nothing out of the norm ever happened.

Over the next two weeks, this girl essentially had me, and I'm sure every other male in Egypt, wrapped around her finger. Finally, I sympathize with the Egyptian males. I found myself tripping over my own bumbling feet anytime my mouth opened. Classic "insert foot here" style. But I played it off, dusted myself off, and walked out of the awkwardness like that was the norm.

I don't blame myself completely. This is how the description of her fell out of my head while she was here: dangerously attractive, intimidatingly intelligent, flirty and fun to be around, astonishingly athletic (but not embarrassingly so), and able to eliminate your personal space without invading it. Her smile captured and raptured my brain, as everyone around will attest, since I didn't use it again, while she was here. It was an out of body experience, so much so, I started praying to God that I would not see her each day. I still have no good reason for such a rapidly hearty crush. Perhaps it was the unexpected ending to a relationship over the Christmas break, with "rebound" idea. Or perhaps I was only picking up on signals she was sending. Or perhaps I am just a male and my eyes and affections are attached to passing female. Whatever the case, she left a few days ago, with nothing more than a good riddance and a "If I never see you again, have a happy life."

I am reminded of what it was like to be in middle school. But, at last, in the words of my good friend and artist Josh Groban "She's out of my life/ And I don't know whether to laugh or cry." With her departure, I could return to what some would call a normal state of being, all the self-imposed ridicule and stupidity is "flushed away."

Perhaps now you can laugh with me when I see this precious sticker staking claim of not only our toilet but also, my stupid life. I choose to laugh. [exit stage left, sigh of relief]

Post-thought: I hope she reads this and laughs, as well.